April 7th-Jaded Contacts, Rose Colored Glasses

I am so tired of everything and everyone...

Time to insert my Jaded Contacts

I have had enough. This is no longer my problem. 

I have had enough. It is time to burn the bridges.

I have had enough. I am so tired of people. 

I have had enough. Everything is and everyone replaceable. 

I have to go out in the dark night. I heard disembodied voice. 

I have to go out in the dark night. Time to bring a flashlight. 

I have to go out in the dark night. Time to bring a knife with me. 

I have to go out in the dark night. Can we please go back in now?

Why is he texting me? What does he want? 

Why is he texting me? I have nothing to say to him.

Why is he texting me? He wants to touch base.

Why is he texting me? Great another thing to do. 

Why is he texting me? Okay, he has a point.

Why is he texting me? It seems only fair. 

Why is he texting me? NO. I really do not care. 

Why is he texting me? I know deep down he is right. 

I feel uneasy. I feel as if people are out to get me.

I feel uneasy. I feel that people who were once friends, want nothing to do with me.

I feel uneasy. People are going to turn on me. 

I feel uneasy. I should turn on them.

I texted a wise man. He tried to get me to think rationally. 

I texted a wise man. He tried to calm me down.

I texted a wise man. He always knew to keep cool. 

I texted a wise man. I felt like such a fool.

I do not want to have kids. This line of turmoil stops with me.

I do not want to have kids. Will I ever truly be free?

I do not want to have kids. No one deserves this.

I do not want to have kids. They will feel hell, only after bliss.

Breathe. I feel I have only let people down.

Breathe. I only see the failures of my past.

Breathe. I smile with the tears of a clown. 

Breathe. Life is moving way too fast. 

I do not want to live. That is not true.

I do not want to live. What more can I do?

I do not want to live. I just want to be frozen.

I do not want to live. I am one of the condemned chosen.

Let me go. I do not want to hear or know. 

Let me go. I do not want to feel this any more.

Let me go. I feel nothing but the cold winds blow.

Let me go. I can not love or adore.

Bring me back down. I feel things can get better.

Bring me back down. I feel as light as a feather.

Bring me back down. I feel stronger than ever.

Bring me back down. I feel ever so clever.

Breathe. Smile.

Breathe. I think I will stay here a while.

Breathe. You are blessed with the people here for you.

Breathe. Do not over think. Do not feel blue.

Smile. The world is a better place. 

Smile. The night is not as scary. 

Smile. Do not learn to tolerate, learn to embrace.

Smile. Do be as happy and as whimsical as a fairy. 

Rest. Even birds are happy enough to sing in the dark.

Rest. Everything will be okay. Life sometimes is a  walk in the park.

Rest. Make sure you are thankful to see another day. 

Rest. With all the work, and stress do not forget to play. 

I truly am blessed, lucky, fortunate, whatever people may call it...

It is too late now, take out the contacts and put on the rose colored glasses.