Rekindled. Realization. Respect.

Hey, so whoever does read these things I want to apologize that I haven't posted anything in the past few days. I've been sick, had a paper, and well sick again (woo). As a little treat, I'm going to give the background info regarding inspiration for each poem.

Background: On Thursday, April 10th, I helped volunteer at a Filipinos in Entertainment & Media: Creating Visibility, Establishing Individuality. Although, I was all over the place,  I was able to get to talk to some people in the entertainment industry. On top of that, I was told by two different people that they remembered me from the open mic nights at the Word on Wednesday. With that being said my passion for acting, writing, and performing in  general was rekindled. 

Rekindled-April 10th
Today was like any other day, or at least it started that way.
I hopped in my car, thought it was nice outside so I put my  convertible top down.
Fifteen minutes on the freeway I saw a thick fog as far as the eye could see.
I drove into the fog, and I have to say it felt like a reflection of how I have been feeling.

As much as I would try to to play it off, I have spent the last few months losing passion.
Passion for acting, writing, performing, future, and even people. I felt as if I was going nowhere.
I felt disconnected from the world, while driving I had one working headlight in the dark gray air.
I slowed down, because what else could I do? I just had to keep driving so I did.

Carrying on to the night, going through the motions.  The sun came down, and the event started.
One person said she remembered me for my writing. That felt incredibly sweet.
I was in awe of some of the panelists, mostly because of their passion and perseverance.
The event ended, and the crowd began to form, networking occurred, autographs were signed.

I talked to a few people, refreshed to see how personable everyone truly was.
Then another person commended me on my performance that happened months ago.
After a short discussion, I have to admit I finally felt like my old self.
External validations are sweet, but this time this night did so much for me in so many ways.

There it was, passions become rekindled. Passions that I was so easily snuffing out.
Times change. Priorities change. But true passions, true love find their ways to be rekindled.
Humbled, and honored I could not help but remember the foggy drive that I took this morning.
I smiled, felt at peace, and the second headlight turned on. The path back home was a bright one.

 Background: Much like the first poem, I have to admit that I have doubt myself not just with my passions, but also where I am in life. As I'm about to graduate in three months from college, I still feel that I do not belong into such an amazing school (UCLA). Well, once again, I had a realization that I belong there.

Realization- April 11th
Woke up feeling really sick. I could barely breathe. Shallow, and fast.
Reminded myself, I still have an assignment due an to do all the work attached to it.
Time to focus and get it together kid, because you have to work do. Remember finish strong.
Shit, I cannot due this, might as well just take the low grade. I do not belong here.

Woke up feeling sicker than before my nap. What am I doing here? I am so close I have to finish.
Okay, one page at a time, okay one paragraph at a time, okay...one word at a time.
I feel like a failure, what am I doing? Just stop, just let it end, because it is not worth it anymore.
I am so weak right now, how could I think I was just doing fine. How could I ever belong here?

Silly kid you were fooling yourself. You know you are just going to quit. That is who you are.
Silly kid why even try? You know as much as I do that you are not going to prosper.
Silly kid you are getting weaker and weaker it's 6 PM. Assignment is due at 11:59. You will fail.
Silly kid, you know that this you are worst critic, so why give in? Prove yourself wrong.

Finally finishing up this assignment, I can not believe I am actually going to need the whole space.
Finally finishing up this assignment, I will get through all of this. We have an hour left.
Finally finishing up this assignment, after being in and out sleep. It is done.
Finally finishing up this assignment, I realize that my mind and determination are as sharp as ever.

I belong at my school. I belong at home. I belong in this lifetime. I am here for a reason.

Background: After watching a very good fight, I am reminded that respect is still under expressed, but when it is, it should be rewarded.

Respect- April 12th

There will be times when we will win, and there will be times when we will lose. Respect.
There will be bad times, and there will be good times. Respect.
There will be bad people, and good people. Respect.
There will be people out there to heal us, there will be people out to hurt us. Respect.

A fighter can still lose, even while at the prime of their game. Respect.
A fighter can still win, even while they have seen better days. Respect.
People can change who they are, that is their right. Respect.
People can change. Respect

Sometimes we will lose at things that we prospered at. Respect.
Sometimes life will have us against the ropes. Respect.
Sometimes we will have life us against the ropes. Respect
Sometimes life will gives us what we need, even though it is not what we want. Respect.

Life will test us with challenges. Respect.
How we choose to respond is up to us. Respect.
Life will bring us up, to knock us down, to bring us up again. Respect.
How we choose we feel each time is up to us. Respect.

I realize that these poems are also more of a story, rather than my other ones. It's just stuff I've been feeling. That's the beauty of poetry, or writing to me. Just being able to vent out emotions both good and bad. Thank you again for understanding why I have not posted anything in the past few days. Have a great day!